Don't look back.

I feel like I've been sick for a month. It really has only been a week and a half... But geeze a week AND a half? That seems silly.

My puny state reduced my New Year's Eve to a live web cast of the NYC festivities, mimosas-sans-champagne, a long phone conversation with my bf, and yes, snoring promptly at 12:01 am. least I made it...? :/

So, I didn't ring in the new year with howling at the moon or banging on pots and pans (yeah, those are things people do on New Year's). And I didn't get turnt up. I was mostly just...quiet. 

And life still happened, and the ball dropped and my friends flooded Instagram and Facebook with glamorous, celebratory moments. And, something pretty cool happened: I wasn't sad about it. Sure, I probably missed out on some memories. And I really did miss my friends. But I was OK. More than okay, I was content.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that sometimes it's okay to 'miss out'. We don't always have to be where the people are. We should just be where we are. We should be when we are. We should be. Just be. 

2014 brings us so much opportunity to change our big ways or small ways...whether it's through a diet and fitness plan, or reading more, or living with less, or striving for more...we can change.

With this type of change, this type of renewal, though, something's got to give. Something's got to be left behind. Let go. Tossed out.

It's impossible to really commit to a new, positive habit without un-committing to a negative habit. They're nemesis. Only one can survive. I think that's the part people forget about, or more realistically, ignore, avoid...hide from. It's not easy to let go of your old self, your old habits, your old thoughts and feelings...I mean, THOSE WERE YOU. It's like we have to let go of our very selves. And that just sounds like a racket.

But it's not a racket. Because... We aren't who we were. We only are. And we can only be. 

I have a list of New Year's Resolutions:

1. Do A pull-up.
2. Read a book a month.
3. Complete two personal paintings/projects.
4. Travel in the U.S. more.
5. Go to Paper Camp.

BUT.... I know that none of these even have a chance of happening if I even take a glimpse back...if I even for one second let those lingering wisps of comfortable nostalgia fill my lungs...then I'm doomed.

Dont. Look. Back. 

Just go.  Just be.


So...this video was just an afterthought, but man I love this girl...dream on, loves.