Trust
I’m sitting here on a beautiful fall day. The sun is shining, I’m nestled in a cozy blanket, my toddler is napping, it’s a peaceful moment. At least, it should be.
And yet I’m sitting here wishing for things to be just a little bit different (I wish some things were a lot different). I *just* want a life that is picturesque: a brightly-lit studio space, a consistent morning and evening routine, a home for my little family to call our own (our stuff is currently in storage across the country, but that’s a whole different story), a Zoom-worthy wardrobe that’s comfy and yet somehow put-together…my list could go on. Could yours?
And anyway, I’m sitting here on this beautiful day, and instead of savoring the quiet peace of this moment, I’m thinking about a moment that does not exist. I’m missing the reality that my life—right here, right now—is beautiful. Truly. Even if it’s not pretty.
The desire to want something different—something more—isn’t new, but it does feel especially strong this year, when so much has been upended and unexpected. And, I suppose it’s not altogether bad to desire a beautiful life. But, I fear I’m being pushed by greed, instead of moved by trust.
The Sisters of Life wrote a beautiful prayer, The Litany of Trust, that I try to pray often. It can be hard to pray these words and really mean them, but I can try, right? Today, a few lines especially challenge me:
From restless self-seeking in the present moment
Deliver me, Jesus.
From disbelief in Your love and presence
Deliver me, Jesus
That Your plan is better than anything else
Jesus, I trust in You.
That You always hear me and in Your goodness always respond to me
Jesus, I trust in You.
That my life is a gift
Jesus, I trust in You.
If you pray, consider praying with and for me—and for all those who find themselves tempted by discontentment—that we may slow down and breathe in the reality of the Goodness and Glory in our lives right now.
Iris Series launches November 29.
Look book coming soon.
“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’...
...your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”