Returning to Tenderness
It’s amazing what a week can do.
Last week I shared with you that my word of the year is RETURN and that I’m embarking on a journey of rediscovering the beauty of who I am.
Scripture tells us, “Ask and you shall receive.” Well, I sure am receiving. I’m surprised by softening in my heart after just a few days. Praise the Lord.
But, it’s not all rainbows and butterflies over here. I’m becoming aware of how painful and raw the work of healing is…and will be. At my Monday session of Healing the Whole Person, for instance, I found myself weeping—in front of strangers, no less—about something painful I had not planned to revisit.
Turns out, I’m not in control of this journey.
I’m also going through The Artist’s Way for a second time, and the synchronicity is palpable. Themes in my prayer are echoed in the readings and exercises. This week, the idea of tenderness is shining through. I thought I’d share a portion of author Julia Cameron’s words with you. Maybe this week, we can try a little tenderness together.
This is from the third chapter in the book, in a section titled “Growth.”
“Growth is an erratic forward movement: two steps forward, one step back. Remember that and be very gentle with yourself. A creative recovery is a healing process…
…In this sense, Easy does it is actually a modus operandi. It means “Easy accomplishes it.” If you will hew to a practice of writing three pages every morning and doing one kind thing for yourself every day, you will begin to notice a slight lightness of heart.
Practice being kind to yourself in small, concrete ways. Look at your refrigerator. Are you feeding yourself nicely? Do you have socks? An extra set of sheets? What about a new house plant? A thermos for the long drive to work? Allow yourself to pitch out some of your old ragged clothes. You don’t have to keep everything.
The expression “God helps those who help themselves” may take on a new and different meaning. Where in the past it is translated, “God helps only those who earn help,” it will now come to signify the amazing number of small free gifts the Creator showers on those who are helping themselves to a little bounty. If you do one nice thing a day for yourself, God will do two more. Be alert for support and encouragement from unexpected quarters. Be open to receiving gifts from odd channels: free tickets, a free trip, an offer to buy you dinner, a new-to-you old couch. Practice saying yes to such help…
…Yes, I am asking you to baby yourself. We believe that to be artists we must be tough, cynical, and intellectually chilly. Leave that to the critics. As a creative being, you will be more productive when coaxed than when bullied.”
Personally, I find it difficult to be tender to myself and to those closest to me. So I find her practical, tangible suggestions really helpful. Just this morning, I had a healthy breakfast and gt a workout in. That is tenderness…and it feels good!
I’ve also started putting visual reminders of gentleness around my home: I have this Mary Cassatt painting hanging in the bathroom where we do the boys’ bath time (which can be a stressful experience). And I think I need to find a place for my own Mama Bird art print, too. It exudes gentleness. Art can help remind us of who we are.
And, though it makes me uncomfortable, I also love what she says about not needing to earn God’s help and love. He’s ready to lavish us..and in fact, already is. We just need to look around.
What’s on your heart this week, friend? How will you treat yourself to a little kindness?