New Year...Old Me.
Happy 2025, friend.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, reflecting, and praying over the past few weeks…new years are good for that type of thing… And in my reflection, some harsh truths have bubbled up. I’ve realized that, despite accomplishing some really cool things and growing in positive ways this year, I’ve really been struggling to maintain a positive outlook on life.
I think, especially in the second half of last year, I let the hard stuff of life overshadow a lot of the Good Stuff. And I developed some negative habits, such as thinking too critically, being unkind to myself, being impatient with others (mostly my boys 😬), and just generally taking everything too seriously.
I don’t know if you’ve ever had this experience, but I feel like I didn’t recognize myself. I used to be flexible and creative and resilient and fun. Instead, I feel both fragile and at the same time, hardened.
Like an egg. I feel like an egg. I’ve built up a shell, albeit a fragile one, around my golden center.
Yikes. This is a terrible metaphor.
Anyway, I wasn’t feeling good. And I’m still not feeling great about myself. But a good confession and a heart to heart (or four) with my hubby helped kickstart my efforts to unlearn some of those down-in-the-dumps Grinchy McGrinch habits.
And, providentially (I think), my randomly-generated word of the year is RETURN. Immediately, this verse came to mind:
“Yet even now—oracle of the LORD—
return to me with your whole heart,
with fasting, weeping, and mourning.
Rend your hearts, not your garments,
and return to the LORD, your God,
For he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, and relenting in punishment.”
So, this year, I’m on a quest to recover a lightness of heart, a sense of humor, an attitude of gratitude. Because that’s who I am. That’s who I’m made to be.
New year…old me?
Here are some steps I’m taking and resources I’m using this year:
Discerning my “Yesses” more intentionally, realistically, and generously. I generally like living at an ambitious pace, but I know I need to leave more margin for myself—I need more opportunity for spontaneity, rest, and connection with others. I was reading through the book of Leviticus recently. Most of it is a slog to read, but there are some surprising gems. This verse struck me: “When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not be so thorough that you reap the field to its very edge, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. These things you shall leave for the poor and the alien. I, the LORD, am your God.” So, I’m being more deliberate about the projects I take on…and trying to restrain myself from adding more and more tasks and to-dos.
Monk Manual - I’m trying a new planner this year. The jury’s still out whether the larger format will prevent me from using it as intimately as I hope to. I’m used to a much smaller bullet journal style Moleskin situation, but this planner is beautiful and I absolutely love the intentionality behind the product and the whole brand.
The Artist’s Way - I’m treating myself to a second round of this 12-week course. I do think it really helped open my mind and heart last year, and I’m looking forward to going even deeper. This time I’m using a blue pen to annotate and underline—it’s so interesting to see the passages that still resonate and what jumps out anew to me this time through.
Healing the Whole Person - I’m also taking a class/weekly retreat called Healing the Whole Person. It was developed by Dr. Bob Schuchts and Sr. Miriam James Heidland. We had our first session this week, and…I think it’s going to be powerful.
Well Read Moms - One of the brightest spots from last year was my monthly book club. The accountability to read more—and read challenging material—was amazing. The stories I’ve read have added richness and perspective to my own life. Plus, I love the excuse to get together with my friends without kids (or fellas)!
Exercise and walking. Hubby and I got watches that track our steps and health info, so you bet we’re competing to get our steps in each day. I’m getting over a cold, so he’s winning… for now. I’m also on day three of this 20 minute program. So far, so sore!
So, I think 2025 may be less about doing more, and more about peeling back…returning to my best self. I think themes of “return” may show up in my art, too. I’ve got some special ideas in the works.
What intentions are you setting for the year? Do you have a word or a theme? Let me know in the comments.